Happiness Unscripted

Embracing Self-Worth Through Faith with Ashley Iduda

• Kristin DeSouza • Season 1 • Episode 7

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Embracing Self-Worth Through Faith with Ashley Iduda

 In this episode of Happiness Unscripted, host Kristin DeSouza delves into a deep conversation with Ashley Iduda, a Christian women's empowerment coach and podcast host. Ashley shares her remarkable journey overcoming identity struggles, imposter syndrome, and feelings of insecurity through a transformative encounter with God's love. She emphasizes the importance of building a personal relationship with God, choosing to believe in one's worth as defined by biblical teachings, and focusing on being rather than doing. Ashley's story offers profound insights into moving from intellectual belief to heartfelt conviction and highlights practical steps, like daily reaffirmations and prayer, to help women embrace their true identity and confidence.

 Key Timestamps

00:00 Welcome

00:49 Intro on Ashley

02:26 Recap of Ashley's experience with God

06:30 Reflections on Ashley's experience with God

11:28 'I am a Creation of God and I choose love'

17:43 Choosing Trust

20:44 Going all in on the journey

25:40 A relationship with God is a relationship with a friend

26:09 Focus on simply Becoming

32:26 Outro-next episode

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Hey there friends! Just a friendly reminder that this podcast is all about sharing ideas and having fun conversations. I'm not an expert in this subject over here - jut a curious person exploring topics I find interesting. So please don't take anything said here as professional advice. When in doubt, chat with the real pros who know their stuff. Thanks for listening and hope you join us for the next episode! Now, let's dive in and get happy!

Kristin DeSouza:

Hello, welcome to Happiness Unscripted, where we are on a mission to embrace happiness. I'm your host, Kristin DeSouza. If you're ready to explore the real unscripted journey to deeper happiness and joy in life, then so glad you found us. Through this podcast, I'm inviting you to join me as we look within ourselves to find a path towards a life we each passionately embrace and love. With us, hear real stories from people who've made meaningful changes in their lives to find greater fulfillment alongside wisdom from experts across a range of fields to help inspire and inform your journey. So let's get started.

Kristin, Host:

Hello. Welcome to the next part of our conversation with Ashley Iduda For those just joining us, or as a refresher for everyone else. Ashley is a Christian woman's empowerment coach and podcast host who specializes in helping women discover their God-given inner and outer beauty and confidence. She hosts Her Identity Project: true confidence and inner beauty for Christian women. A podcast focused on biblical teachings about self-worth, beauty, and identity for overwhelmed moms and women struggling with shame and insecurity. Ashley has a background as a makeup artist and has experienced her own journey of overwhelming identity struggles, including imposter syndrome as a stay-at-home mom, along with battles on shame and self-doubt. Her ministry centers on helping women break free from societal labels and find their worth in the relationship with God. Emphasizing that women are God's masterpieces, Ephesians 2:10. Ashley is in her third season of Her Identity Project podcast, which you can find where you listen to podcasts, such as this one. Additionally, she has launched Designed To Glow workshops where she offers guidance based on her formal training as a makeup artist, coupled with biblical teachings on embracing inner self-confidence. In our previous episode, we finished with you sharing your experience of feeling God's spirit on you, and Jesus assuring you that you are loved and chosen. I'll start today with replaying your story of that experience for our listeners.

Ashley:

And so I think that, um, I was struggling with really not feeling. Like, I could receive love is what I discovered, and then I had this supernatural encounter with Christ. I mean, the shortest story would just be to explain that I, in a very literal way, I could literally feel God's spirit on me, like in a, in a, in a crazy way where people would be like, maybe not even believe me or something like that. But I felt electricity coursing through my vein. Like, I felt like a super, super hero, like where I could literally like shock somebody because I could literally feel like lightning, like energy, like, but in a very real way coursing through my veins. And, um, it, it was odd. It lasted for a really long time, like an hour or two. And, so eventually after I kind of felt really like, I don't know how else to explain it. I was like, in bondage. It was like the feeling wouldn't stop and I couldn't talk, I couldn't walk. I felt like a heavy weight was on me. I didn't know how to break out of it. Like I didn't know what to do. And, um, finally my husband called over like a prayer partner at the church and was like, we need help. Like, come pray over her or something, you know? And I was literally like, I mean, I was shaking my voice, my, um. Sorry, not my voice, my breathing. I'll never forget it. It was labored. The way you're breathing, uh, when you're having like giving birth to a child. Like it was literally, oh yeah. Like I had to breathe, like breathe through the moment. Like it was cra it was so, it was crazy. It was legit like an out of body. It was crazy, out of body experience. Finally, I really did see this bright light. I felt like Jesus basically hug me, like hold me in his arms, like wrap me, like hold me. And he, he told me he loved me. I mean, he literally like told me he loved me and he gave me a word. He told me I was'chosen'. And, um, that experience. Cracked my heart open, like he cracked my heart open. And what I mean by that is I could feel my literal heart glowing like a glow worm, like from when we were little, like a real glow worm. Like I could feel it glowing and it was just such an undeniable experience. And so, you know, after that I didn't magically feel different. It wasn't like that changed me in some crazy way, but it did begin me understanding like, what, what, I guess loving myself and being able to accept and receive love, like truly is, and it, it's through I think, what I would consider the example of God and how he loves us.

Kristin, Host:

So you've talked about having a transformative encounter with God's love that shattered your chains of insecurity. What did that breakthrough look like when it happened

Ashley:

At the core, I think that I suffered from some severe, like rejection wounds from my childhood and from not feeling love like that I could receive love is actually what I think. And so, it's really interesting because I've been a Christian, I gave my life to Jesus. Like, I don't know, 11 years ago and you can love Jesus and still be in bondage. You can love Jesus and still not really be free of all of the, insecurities and everything. And so I think that, I was struggling with really not feeling I could receive love is what I discovered, and then I had this supernatural encounter with Christ. I could literally feel God's spirit on me, like in a, in a, in a crazy way where people would be like, maybe not even believe me or something like that. But I felt electricity coursing through my vein. I felt like a super, super hero, like where I could literally like shock somebody because I could literally feel like lightning, like energy, like, but in a very real way coursing through my veins. And, um, it, it was odd. It lasted for a really long time, like an hour or two. And, so eventually after I kind of felt really like, I don't know how else to explain it. I was like, in bondage. It was like the feeling wouldn't stop and I couldn't talk, I couldn't walk. I felt like a heavy weight was on me. I didn't know how to break out of it. Like I didn't know what to do. And, um, finally my husband called over like a prayer partner at the church and was like, we need help. Like, come pray over her or something, you know? And I was literally like, I mean, I was shaking my voice, my, um. Sorry, not my voice, my breathing. I'll never forget it. It was labored. The way you're breathing, uh, when you're having like giving birth to a child. Like it was literally, oh yeah. Like I had to breathe, like breathe through the moment. Like it was cra it was so, it was crazy. It was legit like an out of body. It was crazy out of body experience. Finally, I really did see this bright light. I felt like Jesus basically hug me, like hold me in his arms, like wrap me, like hold me. And he, he told me he loved me. I mean, he literally like told me he loved me and he gave me a word. He told me I was'chosen'. And, that experience, cracked my heart open, like he cracked my heart open. And what I mean by that is I could feel my literal heart glowing like a glow worm, like from when we were little, like a real glow worm. Like I could feel it glowing and it was just such an undeniable experience. And so, you know, after that I didn't magically feel different. It wasn't like that changed me in some crazy way, but it did begin me understanding like, what, what, I guess loving myself and being able to accept and receive love, like truly is, and it, it's through, you know, I think what I would consider. You know, the example of God and how he loves us.

Kristin, Host:

That's amazing. Yes I share as part of my description of who I am, that, my, career is in science. But for me, part of that is embracing how much we don't know, how much is out there that, we have yet to understand and figure out. I think there are, realms and, levels of this world and universe and, beyond that we just aren't aware of and can see that there is, more that you could be moving into as, part of your entire journey.

Ashley:

Yeah,

Kristin, Host:

So I, I love hearing about your process there, your experience. You had this experience, and it has really been, it sounds like a catalyst to keep you moving forward in this journey. But there's also times that you've talked about, questioning yourself. And so I'm wondering, was there a point that you were moving from knowing, intellectually, that you were God's masterpiece to actually feeling it in your heart? Was this moment where you said your heart cracked open were you really, feeling like you had stepped into a different, place within yourself or, moved forward from something that was holding you back

Ashley:

Yeah, it's a great question. I think what that experience showed me is that, Ephesians two 10, that that verse you quoted in the very beginning says that we are God's workmanship or masterpiece created in Christ Jesus to do good, good works, which are planned in advance for you to do. And so what I have learned is that, I get to choose who I believe I am, And I am either a product of this world. Or I am a creation that God made. I'm literally his daughter. I mean, I would go that far to say that if God created me, then he's, he's the ultimate, right, dominion over everything going on in our life. He created me with intention, uniquely with a purpose. And so there's definitely days where I feel insecure and days where I question like, is this really for me, am I good enough for this? You know, all of those type of, I'm scared, like maybe I'm too scared to go down this path. Maybe I'm not good enough. Maybe I'm not qualified. But at the end of the day. He chose me. Remember? So it's like I get to choose to believe that either what God's word says about me is true, or I get to just follow, you know, maybe the advice of my family and teachers and people who have criticized me et cetera. In other words, like limiting beliefs at the end of the day usually don't even really come from us. They're, they come from our past experiences. They're subconscious and they're baked into our mind. And God's word can literally, like, that's why I love that you brought that up. Science and spirituality do go together because God's word is can literally rewire your mind. I mean, when you choose, like every day, you have a choice. I have a choice. I can choose love, or I can choose fear. Well, God is love. The Bible tells us that like God wants.

Kristin, Host:

Yeah.

Ashley:

Good things for me. God has a purpose and a plan for my life, which is better than every, anything I could ever ask or dream of, there's a scripture that uses those exact words. And so I get to choose to believe that like God has this all figured out for me. I can get out of his way, I can submit to him. I can believe that what he says about me is true, or I can get all wrapped up in my mental spiral and all my insecurities and, and so for me, that's what I'm, I am discovering honestly on this podcasting journey. I've been asking my guests the exact same question. Like, really, how do you go from like knowing something to actually believing it? And at the end of the day, it's about the choice. It's about choosing to believe that I am who God says I am. And if you read his word, it tells you that you are chosen, you are loved, you are beloved, you are accepted, you are capable, you are given strength through him. Like, I mean, just the list goes on and on and on. Um, but at the end of the day, I have to choose to believe it. And in, in the most practical sense, because I know that's like where I think you want me to go with this is for me, that looks like writing down who he says I am on note cards and literally reading it to myself and literally, like, it's so interesting to me, Mel Robbins, who I think most of us know who she is. I don't even know if she's a Christian, but I was listening to a reel the other day and she did this exact same thing. She was so overwhelmed with anxiety that she actually, one day said, I really need truth in my life. So she googled what does God's words say about fear? And it came up with a verse that says.'I have not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.' And then she chose to whisper that throughout her day, every day, every time the limiting belief would come up, she, she would repeat it to herself. And, um, that's a perfect example of what I've been doing over the last year to like, rewire my mind and choose to follow my identity that is in Christ and not of the world.

Kristin, Host:

Wow, that's oh goodness. So many things there. I think one of the biggest things I like about that is, about just putting something down on note cards and repeating it to yourself. I think, to your point that, there will be people listening that aren't necessarily Christian in their belief, but that is something that they can still embrace and just speaks towards a way of, positivity and kindness towards yourself and giving yourself some grace one of the things that I always think about from growing up Christian is that we're not perfect. We're flawed. And so it's okay if we have those moments that we're, questioning and uncertain. For me, one of those things in this journey is, I consider myself quite type A. And so like, okay, I want, the plan all worked out and I want to know the steps to take. And one of the biggest things that I think has been freeing and I've kind of released myself from is, I don't have to know every step. I can just take the first step and see what that brings and from there I'll figure out what the next step is and I don't have to know what the end destination is before I start. And so I feel Like, you're really describing a sense of how, it's okay to not know, but still move forward and have trust that you'll figure it out as you go. And that, God Is there to give you guidance toward that belief in your abilities to make that journey.

Ashley:

Yeah. I love that you've basically summed up like my last six months. Because I did when the year started, I like to pray and like ask God to give me kind of a word for the year rather than like a New Year's resolution. Like what do I kind of like an intention, set an intention for my year? And he gave me the word trust. And that has been my anchor. And I mean really, because you've, you're on the podcasting journey with me. This is scary. It's scary to do this and to put yourself out there. Um, trusting, and his plan is like honestly one of the only things that helps me show up because I really do believe that he will show us what step to take, but he is not gonna lay the blueprint out. He's not going to show you everything. He is gonna show you one little glimpse, and it's up to you to, to, first have a relationship with him in the first place so you can hear that. But then also to be obedient enough to, to do the thing, like you have to take the action and it's easier said than done for sure.

Kristin, Host:

Definitely, So You may have already answered this, but what is the key tool you use to reset yourself? Would you say that your practice of prayer is that tool that helps you check in and when you're feeling lost or uncertain to help recenter yourself and refind trust in God.

Ashley:

yeah, I think, I mean, that probably would be what I would say. I mean, I think that, um, it definitely comes down to prayer, but prayer is not enough to be honest. I think it actually, like the relationship piece is, is the key because I love to think about it this way. It's like,'how do you feel close to your best friend? By talking to them, by making time for them.' Right? And so if we are so busy in our lives that we don't really actually seek time with God, like if we don't actually make time with him a priority, you're not really gonna hear him. You're not really gonna know where he is telling you to go. And, and I think that's a big thing that you know a lot of people miss, is that it really comes down to how much you're willing to get in the word and know, because God's character is revealed through his word, and it's very like a personal experience. You can read the Bible. It's just a book. If you don't have the Holy Spirit to show you how it applies to you personally, it's just a book. And so I really think it really comes down to believing, first of all, believing the gospel, right? And because they say that when Jesus, um, you know, went up into heaven and was resurrected, the Holy Spirit came to live in our hearts, to lead us and guide us. So I do believe that I have God's Holy Spirit guiding me. That is the actual bridge between me and God is the Holy Spirit who lives in my heart. And so I get to ask the Holy Spirit every day and all day long. For guidance, like on everything though, because you can just like live with God. It doesn't have to be like, oh, let me set aside five minutes to pray. What if you actually talk to him like the way you would talk to a person? And so I really think it becomes about, you know, making your lifestyle that committed, that he is your source. And when you think about that, it's a mindset shift and a, and a different way to live. And, that, and journaling, because I'm a processor, like if I don't say it out loud, I don't even think I know, know, like what I even think about anything. I'm a talker naturally. And so yeah, you gotta talk to God. But I also love to journal. It's really incredible, I was reading my journal five year, uh, from five years ago, and I was talking about how I wanted to do makeup lessons and I wrote down that I wanted to combine the idea of identity in Christ in my makeup lessons. And I was like, what? Because I didn't even know what identity in Christ was, honestly, until like a few months ago, until I started my podcast and I was like, oh, this is a thing. And it's, it's this weird, it's like, I've been a Christian for so long, but like, you know, Christianity's interesting.'cause it's your mind, your heart, and your spirit. And they all have to kind of like, it has to click. And for some people, different parts of it click at different times of their journey. And so you can be a Christian for 40 years and not really experience freedom, or you could follow Jesus for a year and go all in, and then your life can rapidly transform. And I think that's, really what it's about is going all in on the journey.

Kristin, Host:

I like that all in on the journey.

Ashley:

Yeah.

Kristin, Host:

I also appreciatre you sharing your description of, it is the relationship with God and I really like your description of, if you're not communicating with a friend, that relationship falls away.

Ashley:

Mm-hmm.

Kristin, Host:

You've had a similar experience where you can maintain that relationship through regular discussions and connection. I think that makes a lot of sense to me.

Ashley:

Good. I love that. That makes sense for you. Awesome.

Kristin, Host:

I think, we've talked a lot about that many women in midlife are struggling with identity shifts. I think for both of us, there's aspects of that that brought us to decide to sign up for this podcasting course where we met and whether that identity shift is empty nest syndrome, career changes, or questioning, being a stay at home mom, who am I beyond the role that I fill in some way? whether that is the role you fill in a career. The role that you're filling in your family. Who are you individually? Share with us how you help women separate their worth from, their achievements in the world or the different hats that they wear.

Ashley:

Yeah, absolutely. Um, this has kind of honestly come to me really recently and it's like a game changer, I think. So I recently discovered that I really think God wants us to focus on being rather than doing so, you know, um, it's hard. It's like I'm gonna take it back to scripture because that's just how it always goes for me.

Kristin, Host:

Yeah, that's where you are connecting and building relationships with people, so that makes sense.

Ashley:

yeah. Um, there's a scripture, it's Romans 12:2. I don't know it off the top of my head, but it basically says, be transformed by the renewing of your mind. It encourages you to go like away from the world's patterns. It says, don't conform to the world's patterns. And it basically says, then you'll know what God's basically like calling on your life is, or intention for your life or something like that. Um, so I really think for me the shift was when I chose to not play the comparison game. Like I can't be so focused on what somebody else is doing because their journey is unique to them. Mine's unique to me and God has something really special planned just for me because of who I am and the gifts he's given me. So I think taking the focus away from performance, like it's not necessarily about how perfect you are, um, what you do, because I think there's a lot of high achieving women who are actually, really still have a, a wound from worthiness because they're trying to earn. Earn their worth or like prove their worth by like doing more. Or I think as women, um, we could think that staying busy like accomplishing something, like always feeling the need to be busy, again, is a way to like prove our worth. And God says that you're worthy just by existing. All you have to do is be who he created you to be. And so for me these days, you know, season three of my podcast, her identity project is all about Becoming, and the conversations I'm having are encouraging women to just simply Become. And that may mean something really different for you than it does for me, but it encourages us to. Basically be be your best, like be the most elevated version of yourself in every aspect, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Because that's true freedom and that's what God wants for us is to be free.

Kristin, Host:

I love the idea that you're sharing. Simply being is enough. Like you don't have to do other things to, to be worthy to matter, to justify being loved and being a part of the world, that just being who you are alone is enough. I feel like that sums up very nicely what may be a bit of the heart of the process that so many people, and particularly women go through in that midlife And then, it takes a while before you reach a point that you're like, well wait, am I doing these things, because they make sense within me? It's Okay to just be who you are.

Ashley:

Yeah, absolutely. And I also think that, um. Maybe we put pressure on ourselves to be a certain place at a certain time. And for me it was like, oh, well you don't have your career sorted out yet and you're past 40, like, what's wrong with you? Kind of thing then I think that's maybe why I had that spiritual encounter because it was like, Jesus' love taught me that I'm a, I'm enough as I am. Like I don't like even if, even if I never recorded another podcast episode, or even if I don't actually get the group program that I am so excited about off the ground. Like I don't have to sit in shame about not being somewhere I thought I would be by now. Like these benchmarks that we put on ourselves, kind of go away when you approach life through that different lens of just simply like surrendering to God and trusting his timetable, not yours. And maybe it's just all about the people we are becoming and the impact we have and not the performance.

Kristin, Host:

Well, that's a wrap on this episode of Happiness Unscripted. I'm so grateful you chose to spend this time with me today exploring what it means to build a life we truly love. But here's the thing, we're just getting started on this incredible story with Ashley Iduda. Make sure to tune in next week because we'll be continuing our conversation with Ashley Diving even deeper into her story and lessons she's learned along the way. Remember, the path to happiness isn't always linear, and I can't wait for you to hear what comes next. Your presence here means everything to me. Before you go, please take a moment to think about one small thing from today's conversation. That you could put into practice this week, then please share it in the comment section to inspire others. If you found value in what we discussed, it would be amazing if you share this episode with someone who might need to hear it or leave a great review. To help others find us, please follow happiness unscripted on Facebook and Instagram and subscribe to this podcast so you get updates on the next episode release. I am Kristen DeSouza. See you next time as we continue our journey towards Happiness Unscripted. Let's go get happy.

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Kristin DeSouza

Host
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Ashley Iduda

Guest